I was fifteen when one of the few mentions of ‘grace’ in my upbringing was seared into my memory and my theology.
As I sat in the pew, the preacher loudly exclaimed the dangers of using grace as a way to continue in sin, and relying on it in order to excuse your evil deeds. He then tried his best “lukewarm church pastor” impression, to reiterate what churches who have ‘fallen away’ would say to it’s members, “It’s okay, it’s all under grace, all under grace!”
The rest of the sermon included the seriousness of sin, and the biting reality of hellfire and brimstone.
I remember leaving church that day thinking, “I never want to be like those other ‘Christians,” and I wanted to tread carefully around the idea of grace. In fact, it would be easier if I were to never approach it at all, because then there would be less risk of abusing it.
I once believed grace was only enough to save me, and not enough to sustain me.
I used to think that grace was only active in salvation and for the forgiveness of sins. I really only understood it in the context of Ephesians 2:8, “We are saved by Grace through faith…” and believed it was something I left at that altar when I first prayed the ‘sinner’s prayer’ back in kids ministry all those years ago.
I remember thinking as a young girl, it was almost as if grace seemed like a bad word if you brought it up in my christian circles growing up. If you talked about grace, it often came with a disclaimer, if it was ever brought up at all. And if you mentioned it too much, you might even be classified as those that used it and abused it. Maybe that wasn’t the intention, but it’s what I learned and it impacted my narrow view. The admonition that replayed in my mind was, “ After all, Vanessa, you don’t want to end up like those Christians who are ‘lukewarm’ or ‘sinful’, do you?” I didn’t realize my own self righteousness until later.
Mentions of grace always came with the warning from Romans 6:1-2, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” and Romans 6:15. “”What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace?”
Whenever I thought about grace or read about it, I was always quick to caution myself with this reasoning,
“Make sure you’re not taking advantage of grace to keep on sinning, and using grace as an excuse”.
And yes, those scriptures are undeniably true.
But Grace encompasses far more than I ever thought. The Lord has shown me that Grace is a necessary thing for all of life.
It strips you of your prideful contempt towards others, and your sense of superiority. Because of Christ, it enables you to thrive, and is always there in times of need.
Grace is something I can rely on instead of being wary of.
The Gift Of Grace
John Piper defines grace in this way,
Grace is undeserved favor and kindness from God, something that I can neither pay for nor lord it over others. It is a gift that has the incredible ability to accomplish the Lord’s purposes and encourage those under its activity.
I am learning that Grace is what sustains me every day. Grace is what keeps me from relying on myself and my own strength. Grace is not just necessary for salvation, but is necessary for the entirety of the Christian life after salvation.
God is truly just, and He is also more kind and loving than I could have ever imagined.
It is by God’s abundant grace that everyday I wake up, and I am upheld.
Grace is the fact that the Lord is the one who is the caretaker and sustainer of every single thing in my life, when I used to believe it was all me.
Grace is an invitation to humility before the Lord, and humility in my view of my own fellow siblings in Christ. It is an acknowledgement that I need Him and His grace every day, or else I can’t make it on my own. I need His power. I need His righteousness.
It is an invitation to rest.
When my hands are weak, and the days are long, I hear His voice tell me , “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Grace is all about God and what He has done, not me and what I can do for Him or others.
He gets the glory, not me.
There is no prideful comparison between my own righteous deeds and those of another.
James 4:6 is a reminder of that, and flies in the face of self-righteousness and a haughty disposition.
6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God resists the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”
Grace and the Spirit are what empower me to live the Life of Christ and to serve Him in all I do.
Therefore, my achievements, my work for Christ have nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with my talents, my efforts. It has everything to do with God, because He is the One ultimately completing that work in me.
It is humbling.
It is Freeing.
I have new eyes to see His kindness and provision in the everyday mundane of life. Where the moments of the mundane actually become the place of miracles.
Because every moment of the Christian life is upheld by the Lord, His Grace and His power.
Uprooting Self Reliance
I thought I left grace at the altar when He saved me. I thought it was only good for forgiving my sins.
But it was actually right there with me this whole time.
It is holding me up, making me like Christ. Grace’s tender caresses work at sustaining me no matter what I face. Its strong power is being made perfect in my humble and frail reliance on the Lord Jesus. I once thought grace was only enough to save me, and not enough to sustain me.
But He says, “My grace is enough“.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of relying on ourselves and on our own strength and righteousness. What areas in your life are being sustained by your own power, instead of a reliance on the Lord Jesus and His work?
“9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ”
2 Corinthians 12:9
Cultivate a Lifestyle of Worship + Love of the Word 
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