Cultivate a Lifestyle of Worship + Love of the Word

“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures…”

Psalm 23: 1-2

Something I’ve always longed for in the theme of my life is peace.

I have always struggled with fear.

I can remember key moments in images, like photos from the pages of a picture album, spanning childhood to adulthood, that have caused my peace to seemingly wobble.

First page,

I’m 5 years old, and I see the image of my dad in the hospital, as his heart condition progresses from Atrial Fibrillation into something more serious. He recovers, but his words “I came back from death’s door” stay with me even now.

Flip to the next page, I’m 15 years old and walking with my dad when suddenly he gets out of breath and his heart goes back into Atrial Fibrillation, leading to open heart surgery in the following days as they replace a heart valve.

Flip, I’m 21, and we get the news that my grandmother has succumbed to her cancer, and she has passed. The image of my mother collapsing on the floor in screams and sobs will forever haunt me.

Flip, I’m 22, and my beloved puppy suddenly goes into anaphylactic shock, and my husband and I rush her to a nearby animal hospital. Thankfully, we make it in time.

Flip, my husband and I go in for our routine 37-week OB appointment, my blood pressure is high, and mild pre-eclampsia is the diagnosis. I am told I am being induced and having the baby “today”.

Flip, I am over 24 hours into labour with my son, and his heart rate drops, nurses rush in, and they talk about emergency C-section. I cry out to God, and thankfully, my son’s heartbeat regulates, and I can deliver normally with no complications.

Throughout it all, the Lord has been faithful and ever present.

So why do I still struggle? Why do I still falter in my trust in God?

Have you ever been there?

I long to dwell in that state of settled security, and to possess a heart and mind that are absent from chaos and conflict. It seems that as life becomes busier and the problems of the world grow louder, peace becomes increasingly harder to come by and even harder to maintain. But then I look at the birds who live in my birdhouse, the ducks and geese in the pond, or even my dog, Beverly. They seem to have no cares in the world. I am reminded of Mathew 6:26, which says,

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

They are watched over, so how much more are we watched over? Am I, Vanessa, watched over? 

Jesus is called the Good Shepherd, and His heart is for His sheep. Shepherds care for, protect, and provide for the flock. 

It is not the sheep’s job to bear the burden of keeping themselves safe. The shepherd’s responsibility and skill is to guard the sheep from predators and rescue them from dangerous situations, even ones of their own creation. It is the Shepherd’s joy and job to herd the flock to forage that is plentiful, and water for drinking that is slow moving. The sheep would not drink from water moving quickly, because they would be too afraid. 

The sheep is utterly dependent on the Shepherd for everything. How much different would our sense of peace be if we lived our lives like one of these sheep? 

My default mode tends to be spiraling into anxiety or imagining worst-case scenarios. I think that if I can just think of enough things that can go wrong, I can prevent them from happening, and that I can somehow provide for and protect myself. But from experience, it’s an exhausting way to live, and a great burden to bear. 

If we trust the Good Shepherd, this weight can be transferred off our shoulders. He is the only one who has the power and the capacity to bear this. 

Like me, do you oftentimes turn to spiraling instead of seeking in those fear-inducing moments?

The Good Shepherd desires us to seek Him and His help and presence, and to surrender those clenched fists full of control.

He invites us into prayer and supplication, and we have the freedom to present our needs and worries before His throne.

…The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

The Lord is near.

He upholds the whole world and life itself. He tells my trembling, fear-filled heart to be still and makes me lie down.

The Shepherd gently takes my firm grip of control (or at least the sense of control I think I have) and guides my hands into a posture of release and surrender. My palms can now be open and free to receive what he has provided and prepared for me. 

The Shepherd loves the sheep and lays even His very life down for them. 

It doesn’t mean we won’t walk through trials. But it does mean we have a loving Shepherd who is ever present, ever providing, and ever protecting.

He is a Shepherd who even went so far as to die for us, for us to be saved and made whole.

He once again invites us into rest from our striving and anxiety, and calls us into a deeper communion with Him, where our burdens are made light.

He is faithful. He is good. He is loving.

We can trust Him. 

Is the Lord your Shepherd?

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm Of David.

“23 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2  He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

3  He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name’s sake.

4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

5  You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Psalm 23 ESV